Hellllooo!!! Wow today has been a great day so far. I got up earlier than anyone else in the house so I read about 100 pages in 1st to Die by James Patterson. I love James Patterson books. Then mom got up and made breakfast for everyone. It was so good. And then I took a shower and when I got out, I put my Chicago soundtrack on really loud and I was dancing around my room like an idiot while I was getting dressed! Then I painted my nails white. I was going to take red nailpolish and make lip prints on them, but I was too lazy. I don't think anything could ruin my mood right now.

My whole family (mom, dad, brothers, sister, cousins, grandparents--they're here from Michigan) is fishing right now. I hate fishing, so I opted (sp?) to stay home. I went for a sprint around my block with Luke (black lab. I love him.) My block is 1/3 of a mile and I sprinted it in 2 minutes...eh...not bad. I forgot to stretch out when I got back though and now my muscles are all locked up, I should probably stretch them now but I'm too lazy to get out of this chair.

I was just in the bathroom and I thought I heard something upstairs in the attic, because the attic is right above the bathroom. I'm really paranoid so I got a brushe and a heavy can of lotion out of the drawers in the bathroom and I ran back downstairs to the computer as fast as I could with the brush held up in one hand and the lotion in the other. haha I'm such a geek.

Valentine's Day is in a week!! No valentine for me but that's okay. It doesn't bother me at all. It's still the best holiday ever. I think I'm going to make pretty valentine's for all my friends. I haven't handed out valentines since elementary school. It will be fun. I'm excited.

So it turns out I don't get to hang out with the old people today. I'm bummed. I was starting to look forward to getting out of the house and doing something, but mom didn't turn in my volunteer form yet. Oh well...

I really miss my laptop. I have a list 3 pages long of songs I need to download when I get it back. I bet it's lonely.

Then I saw you yesterday but you didn't notice. You just walked away. Cause everything you wanted me to hide is everything that makes me feel alive. The city's grow, the river's flow, where you are I'll never know but I'm still here. If you were right and I was wrong, why are you the one who's gone? and I'm still here. The lights go out, the bridges burn. Once you go, you can't return. But I'm still here. Remember how you used to say I'd be the one to run away, but I'm still here. -Vertical Horizon, "I'm Still Here" Great song.

Some little kid on my bus the other day asked my how old I was. I told him I'm 14. And he was like "You're not old enough to drink legally." It was so random but it was pretty funny. He's like a 6th grader, I think. I found it amusing.

Now that I got my daily running fix, I wish it would rain. I love the smell of rain. But, it's actually very pretty outside. Maybe I'll go sit on my back porch and finish that book. Doubtful, but it's a possibility.

So yet again, Tyler is taking too long to inform me of his decision. I really don't think I care much anymore. I mean, I'd love to be with him again, but I could get used to this being-single thing.

Kathryn and I are talking about the Heaven 9-11 song I wrote about yesterday. It made us both cry. But it's so sad. If you've never heard it, I suggest you download it. It's called Heaven and it's the 9-11 version and it's by DJ Sammy.

It's been a year daddy. I really really miss you. Mommy says you're safe now, in a beautiful place called heaven. We had your favorite dinner tonight. I ate it all up, even though I don't like carrots. I learned how to swim this summer. I can even open my eyes when I'm under water. Can't you see me? I started Kindergarten this year. I carry a picture of us in my blues clues lunchbox. You are the greatest daddy. I can swing on the swing by myself. Even though I miss you pushing me. Can't you see me? I miss how you used to tickle me. Tickle my belly. My belly hurts. I try not to cry. Mommy says it's okay. I know you don't like it when I cry. You never wanted me to be sad. I try daddy but it hurts. Is it true you're not coming home? Maybe someday, I can visit you in heaven okay? It's time for me to go to bed now. I sleep with the light on, just incase you come home, and kiss me goodnight. I love you so much. I miss you daddy.

Wow, that has got to be the saddest song I've heard in a long time.