Wow.

That's really all I can say.

Wow.

This weekend was incredible. There are so many thoughts bouncing around in my head right now, I don't even know how I'll be able to put it into words, I basically summed it up in my testimony today.

After mass today, they called up people who wanted to do testimonies, and everyone was like "Erika you should go." and I really knew that I had to because I had something to say, but I was scared, I don't like talking in front of a bunch of people I don't know. But when it was my turn, I took the microphone and I just started talking and I don't know exactly what I said because I started crying, but it went something along these lines: "Hey guys, I'm Erika from St. Eugenes Five months ago today, I was sitting at home 'sick' from school when I got a phone call from my best friends. They were like "Erika, have you heard?" and I didn't know what they were talking about, you know, I thought they were just kidding around. But then they said "Erika I don't know how to tell you this but..." and they went on to tell me that one of my friends had killed himself. I hung up and I just started to scream at God, because I didn't understand how he could have let something like this happen, I didn't know why it happened and I didn't really understand what was going on. In the last 5 months I've totally gone downhill. I've done some things I really don't need to be doing and I basically stopped believing in God because I didn't understand how he could make this happen. I went to Youth 2000 last year, and yeah, it changed my life, but you know how it is, after a few months or weeks it fades away. But I want to thank you all because even if you don't know it, you have truly changed my life. It means a lot to me. Thank you."

So guys, that's it. I'm done with all this stupid crap I've been doing, for real this time. I'm going back to where I need to be. And if that means that people are going to be mad at me and not want to hang out with me anymore, so be it, but I can't keep living the way I have been.

God Bless You, Erika

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause no one else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near.