I have so much to write about and not enough time.
The last few days have been...rough. I don't even know how to put it into words. They've been absolutely terrible though. Not just for me, for a lot of people. Everyone's thisclose to a mental breakdown. Junior year sucks. A lot.
Yesterday...Eh..
Today...Not as bad as yesterday. Lunch was fun cause we went to Em's house and popped popcorn and started a movie which we'll continue watching tomorrow hopefully. The rest of the day sucked though. Lab in APES so I smelled like onions and bleach the rest of the day. Spanish is boring as hell, which I can't understand because it's always been my favorite class. It's like my security blanket because I know I'm good at Spanish, but I hate it now. English is like...I can't even describe it. Achenbach is an incredible teacher, but she's stressed out and we're all stressed out and it's not a good combination. Precalc is actually okay. We're still sort of reviewing Alg II with a couple of new random concepts, but I did really good in alg II so it's not that hard for me at all. Had a quiz in APUSH. I think I did good but I probably failed. Then we played review games in APB and I got 5 extra points on tomorrows test.
And then I went to FCA. Which was amazing, as always. Daniel is an incredible speaker and it always makes me happy to be there. I'm trying really hard. I'm trying to become what I once was. I'm trying to get back into my faith, I'm trying to become a halways decent kid again. I want that back. I really do. I know that I've been confused over this for a long time, and anyone who reads my blog knows that, but I do want to be what I once was. Living in the past? Maybe. Striving to be a better person? (haha so cliche) Maybe. All I know is, looking back, the times I've been the happiest is when I've been like that. And right now I could really use some happiness.
In 20 minutes I have to go babysit, so I'me eating dinner as I type. Then I'll come home. I don't even know how I'm going to react when I realize it's 8:00 and 5 hours of homework are waiting for me. I think I might have to just sit down and cry, not that I have time for that. I feel like my life has been put on hold while I live for the college admission officers. I'm beginning to doubt whether it's going to be worth it in the end.