I have a lot to say, but not enough words to be able to express it correctly. It's mostly stuff that I need to figure out on my own; I need to decide if I'm ready to let go of a lot of friendships that were great while they lasted, but aren't worth it anymore. I need to know for sure if I'm okay with letting the 'good times' remain in my past and allowing myself to replace those times with whatever's ahead.
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone. -jewel
Whatever's ahead. The future. haha. I don't even know what that is. Ever since we were in preschool, people have been tell us that our "future is bright" and that we have the ability to "make choices that will determine our future" and all kinds of crazy bullshit that means nothing to me right now. Why do we work so hard towards a "future" that's not even gauranteed? Why are we sitting around 'playing the game' when we could be so much happier without it? Where is it getting us? I can't get over that. If there's one thing that I took away from Governor's School, that's it. It just blows my mind that we sit in classrooms day after day to learn things that will eventually be disproven. Nothing that we learn is for certain.
things are gonna happen naturally
taking your advice i'm looking on the brightside
and balancing the whole thing
but often times those words get tangled up in lies -jason mraz
Today I went shopping. I'd never been shopping on Black Friday, and now I know why. I hate shopping to begin with; this was the worst experience of my life. It made me want to kill all of corporate america. Never again.
to think i might not see those eyes
makes it so hard not to cry
& as we say our long goodbyes
i nearly do
light up, light up
as if you have choice -snow patrol
I really, really, really wish I was at the Pico concert right now. I'm quite angry about that. I missed a lot of good stuff this week, but it was good to have a break from it all. Getting away was needed. I haven't done any homework, and knowing me, that's going to be a problem tomorrow and Sunday. Maybe I just won't do any, except I know I'd say that but then stay up all night Sunday getting it done, because that is how I am.
inside this room
time will stand still as long as
i'm not aware of change
the world outside leaves me behind by myself
there's no mercy for those who hold on -daphne loves derby
SAT next Saturday. I totally forgot. I am so unprepared, and I don't even care. But you just wait, Friday night I will have my review book out. It will happen. I don't know why I try so hard not to care. I'm obviously unsuccessful.
Night all.