I have a lot of thoughts that I could probably put into some good quality writing, but I don't know how. The last few days have screwed me up. I haven't written anything of value in a while, because I feel like I've forgotten how to use words.
The past is annoying, showing up everywhere, but you never want to get rid of it, because at one time, it was where you wanted to be.
So incredibly true. A few days ago, Rachenbach was talking about how we never live in the present, our thoughts are always in the past or in the future, and I found it very interesting (yes, I do actually pay attention in class sometimes). I've never thought about it like that, but it makes so much sense that it's almost overwhelming. Everyone's always telling me that it's bad to live in the past and that I should be living for right now, but no one really does that.
Report cards today. I knew what my grades were going to be, but seeing them there on paper like that really through me for a loop. I'm not a bad student, at least I never have been until now, but I have hardly any mental energy these days, and the little that I do have I don't want to devote to school, so I don't. Today, for example, I walked into history late and with no books, and Gates just kind of looked at me and looked at my desk and was like "No books? Are you a senior?" And I told him that I wasn't but I wish I was.
Actually, I just wish we were done with high school, I know I'll probably regret rushing it along like this, because these are supposed to be "the best years of our lives" but I really don't see that. I'm going to be so relieved on graduation day.
"Anybody who thinks there's nothing wrong with this world needs to have his head examined. Just when things are going along alright, without fail, someone or something will come along and spoil everything. Somebody should right that down as a fundamental law of the Universe. The principal of perpetual disappointment. If there is a God who created this world, he should scrap it and try again." -Master Harold...And the Boys
If there is a God up there, (sorry for doubting you God, if you exist.) He/she either really hates me or has incredibly sucky timing. Then again, if there is a God up there, he/she has every right in the world to send me straight to hell without asking for an explanation, so I guess the sucky timing thing is permitable.