It has been a very long time since a decent post.
Summer Ventures was good. I feel like I matured a lot. Actually this whole past year I feel like I have grown up so much. Sophomore year I was sort of forced to grow up and to accept reality because of multiplie instances, including JR and everything that happened after that, but this year I feel like I grew up on my own accord--like I went back and started from the beginning, but this time I did it the right way.
The problem with going away in the summer to these academically gifted programs is that I always have to go back to public school in the fall. I am excited for senior year, and my classes should be halfway decent this year, but that's as far as it goes. I really do hate the people at Enloe, except for a few, and I am done trying to be friends with people and trying to be nice to them because they suck. I hate the grading system and I hate the superficiality of it all. I hate the competitiveness as far as GPA and Class Rank goes, and I know it's going to get worse this year with everyone applying to college. It is possible that I hate anything that is not Governor's School or Summer Ventures.
I am incredibly excited about applying to college though, even though that sucks also as far as essay writing goes (a lot of suckage in my life lately). I finally gave up on the out-of-state battle with my parents and settled on 4 in-state schools: Duke, UNC Chapel Hill, Wake Forest, and NC State. State is my safety as of now and last choice, mostly because the other 3 have outstanding pre-med programs, and while State's isn't bad, it isn't world famous or anything. I am a little bit scared though. I mean, I know I can get into college, that is not a problem, but I don't know if I'm ready to be making such a big decision, and I'm not sure that I'm prepared to go to college pre-med and then go to medical school and follow through on it all. I know that there is plenty of time for me to change my mind, but I really want to do this and I don't think I can handle failure at this point. And if I did fail, I have no back-up plan. I have no idea what else I would do with my life, except maybe biological or chemical research or something, and I really don't want that.
I don't actually know what the hell is going on anymore. This summer has been insane. I feel like there were so many big events packed into such a small amount of time. It went by much too fast. School in 14 days.