i was fighting, but i just feel too tired to be fighting, guess i'm not the fighting kind

I had a really bad dream last night. Actually it was this morning, almost afternoon, because I woke up right after it and it was 11:00. It was a really bad dream. It was the kind of dream that leaves you feeling like you've been punched in the gut when you think back to it hours later. Unfortunately, I wasn't watching my family get murdered, and there was no monster chasing me. The real problem is that it was about Tony.
I don't understand why I can't get him out of my head. I wanted to end things with him before he even left for the last time this summer. I knew we weren't going to stay together once I got here, but it's just not fair that it wasn't ended on my terms, and that I didn't get any closure.
That is selfish. I don't care. He was selfish first by falling off the fucking face of the planet.

I would like to lose 10 pounds, thanks. (Quitting smoking is terrible. Blaming your weight gain on it is worse.)

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand you're heart
It's easier to be apart.
We might as well be strangers in another town.
We might as well be living in another time.
We might as well, We might as well, We might as well be strangers.
--Keane.

And that's a fact.