For the first time in my life I have no desire to return to Applebee's. I used to love the people there. I used to love the way I felt when I was surrounded by people who I thought loved me. Now I know the ones that I really need in my life are the ones who make themselves available to me and spend time with me outside of Applebee's. I know that the drama isn't worth it anymore. And I know that, eventually, you have to move on.
Speaking of moving on, I don't know what to do with all of the boys in my life right now. I really did meet a nice guy the other night, but I have no idea how to talk to nice boys. I also have no idea how to date anymore. I don't remember how that goes, mostly because I usually have sex just served up on a platter for me. I haven't wanted to be in a relationship that extends beyond the physical in a very long time, and I definitely haven't had to work for anything else. I'm tired of feeling empty, though. At the same time, I don't want to have to do all of this. Dating is hard work.
Jesus. I am just trying to get my shit together. I hate baby steps.