I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high
And like Icarus I collide
With a world I tried so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
To give and die
I don't really know what to say about life right now. Sometimes I think everything's amazing, and then there are times when I just want to leave, and then there's times like today, when I'm floating in between the two extremes--not really sure of what I'm doing here or why, but knowing that there's a reason somewhere.
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did You really have to die for me?
All I am for all You are
Cause what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
It's so weird to think that in another two years, I (hopefully) won't be sitting at home. I'll be far away from Knightdale. Maybe then I'll be happy? I don't know. I just know that whatever's ahead of me has to be better than what I'm leaving behind.
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
I wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remains
More & more I need You now
I owe You more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
The other night I cried for the first time in a while. About GSW. I was babysitting (the kid was already in bed) but the kid's mom had gone to Salem, and on the wall of their living room there was a painting of the square. It made me remember so much. I remembered coming home and crying all day because all I wanted was to go back. But lately I've been so numb to it. I've forgotten what it meant to me and that makes me sad. I'm never supposed to forget those 6 weeks. Never.
my sin-soaked heart: make it Yours