I'm so sick of my life. God I want everything to go back to like May. I miss everyone from East Wake so freaking much. Everything's so different at Enloe. I hate it there so much. I try so fucking hard and nothing ever comes out right. I hardly talk to anyone from East Wake anymore. I don't even talk to Bridget or Randi anymore. I don't know where I went wrong. I mean, all of the sudden, people who I used to consider my "best friends" have just seemed to totally and completely dropped out of my life. When I moved here from New York, it didn't take me that long to get over the fact that I had left everyone behind. I talk to about 3 people there now. That's it. And it doesn't bother me at all. But I really miss everyone at East Wake. We went through so much shit together and now it doesn't even matter. People at Enloe are so fucking judgemental. God. People that I don't even know think I'm a whore. What the hell? What did I ever do to them? I mean, I've never even fucking talked to these people. Oh yeah and then we have Tyler's friends sitting here yelling at me and talking shit about me because I broke up with him. Apparently I'm now a cheap whore, a stupid slut, and a selfish bitch. (All coming from someone I've never met before!!) Hello people, nothing fucking lasts forever okay? I'm sorry I hurt Tyler's feelings but this is between me and him. Not me, him and the rest of the fucking world. Everyone get's their feelings hurt. Newsflash: Life isn't fair. Life never has been fair. Life never will be fair. How come I'm the one getting blamed for everything?? I mean, I didn't break up with him for no reason! I need breathing room too.

I'm the one who get's treated like I have no fucking feelings at all. I'm the one who has seriously tried to kill myself multiple times, and then people come to me all like "ehh my life sucks. i'm going to kill myself." when they obviously aren't fucking serious about it. You people have a lot to fucking learn about being suicidal. Because trust me, it ain't no picnic, and you don't go around telling everyone about it. You just don't. I know a lot more than you think I do. I've been through a lot more shit than ANYBODY knows. Even if you think you know everything about me and everything I've been through, you most definatly DON'T. You're not even close to knowing anything. People who are seriously suicidal aren't doing it to get other people's sympathy. They don't tell everyone that they want to kill themself.

I'm not in this for sympathy. I don't want attention. It's just another fucking wake up call. Welcome to my world.