It never ceases to amaze me how one moment, one second, can set off a chain of events that will permanently change your life and change who you are forever. (It's quite a cliche thing to say, and you know I hate using cliches, but sometimes they're so true that it would be inappropriate not to use them.) There hasn't been a day in the last year that I haven't thought about that. So many nights I've fallen asleep with thoughts like that darting around in my head, and I still don't understand it. It seems so simple on the outside, but really, why do we let one second change everything? Do we even have any control over it? And if not, does that mean that one second is more powerful than we are? Because the way I look at it, the human race has figured out how to manipulate a lot of things, but they can't mess with time yet, and therefore, time is a much more powerful force than mankind will ever be, and I think that's scary. I suppose that it's a good thing in a way because if we could determine the course of our lives through the manipulation of time there would be no point in anything; it's scary though. 1/60th of a minute can destroy everything you've ever thought to be true. It's almost beyond me. We think of a second as so minute, but it's such a huge force in determining who we are and what we go through to become who we are going to be.
JR- We miss you so much and there has not been one day in the past year that you have not been in our thoughts and prayers. We know you're happy, and we try to be too, but it's been so hard without you here. We love you. Rest in peace. Always.
sometimes I still just can't believe you're gone
& I'm sure the view from heaven beats the hell out of mine here.
& I have learned so much since you've been gone... -DC
I look back on my entries from a year ago, and it's so weird, because most of those feelings haven't left me, I've just grown so accustomed to them that I don't even recognize them anymore. I don't know what that means. I don't feel like things will ever became "normal" again, I just think that the chaos and emptiness became "normal" somewhere along the line when we weren't paying attention.