I drink too much caffeine. I don't know who I am. I clean up after everyone. I vacuum everyday, but no one notices. I sleep on a lofted bed, even when I'm sore. I work out all of the time because I think I'm getting fat. I get six hours of sleep a night, even though I go to bed before everyone else. Sometimes I am a bitch. I have to hide my food so everyone won't eat it, because I get hungry too. I hate it when people take advantage of me. I don't miss him as much as I should. This is the worst time of the year. I miss my mom. I am getting a C in Spanish. I'm dropping a class because I can't make it work. I never used to give up. I can't say no to oatmeal raisin cookies. English 101 is harder than I thought it would be, but it's stupid. Everything is harder than I thought it would be. I don't know who I am. I hate paying to do my laundry. I miss working in a restaurant. I don't know if I'm strong enough for this. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm not exceptionally good at anything. I don't want to let my parents down. I hate spending money but I can't stop. I walk around in my underwear all of the time. I'm in love with my best friend (again). I clean everything. I don't care. I try to take the stairs, but sometimes I am too tired, because I don't sleep enough. Writing it down makes it better. I make a lot of lists, but can never check off everything. I watch TV shows I don't like. I drink too much. I don't smoke anymore and it's hard. I don't know who I am. I don't miss them as much as I thought I would. My hair isn't the same color anymore. I want to pierce my ear again, but he says no. I want a tattoo, but my parents would not approve. Nobody understands my OCD. People are not nice. Politics are very important here. Cafeteria food is not good. I hate being vegetarian. I never meant to sleep with him again. I like him a lot. I wash my sheets more than I used to. I carry around an umbrella just in case. People here don't know me. I miss cooking. I miss my dog. I just don't like some people, and I can't help it that I'm mean. I'm tired of MarioKart. I'm tired of Beer Pong. I'm tired being drunk. I'm sleep-deprived. I hate walking to class, but I won't take the bus. I quit my once-in-a-lifetime internship. I'm sick. I don't like clubs. Extracurriculars remind me of high school. The only class I like is American Government. Some of my teachers are more ignorant than anyone I know. I have nothing to say anymore.


...that felt good.