what is essential is invisible to the eye

I want to do something. I want to be my own person, and I want it to be fabulous. I want to travel. I want to write books. I want to speak 10 languages, at least. I want to never stop learning. I want the passion I have now to stay alive forever. I want to be satisfied and happy. I want to let myself love again. I want to be honest with myself and with everyone else. I want to be able to look into my own eyes and smile. I want to lose 10 pounds. I want to go to culinary school. I want to be spontaneous. I want to have perfect skin. I want to accept my flaws as well as others'. I want to always remember that I am a fallible human being. I want to study world religions. I want to stay in bed and read all day. I want to be fearless. I want to be admired. I want to be the sunshine. I want to confront my past. I want to forget about him. And him. I want to wait tables at a 24-hour diner. I want to get multiple degrees. I want to live in New York and Europe. I want to stop wanting and start doing. I want my parents to be okay with who I am and who I am becoming. I want to take a nap, and then I want to get high as a kite. I want my dad to be happier than he is now. I want my sister an m brothers to never stop trying. I want to cry. I want to have whiter teeth. I want to have babies. I want to be loved. I want to pretend to be some other girl, just for one night. I want to kick bad habits. I want to know why. I want to feel. I want to go a whole day without cleaning. I want to meet my soulmate. I want to go to the beach. I want this class to be over. I want some respect. I want to change the world. I want to stop worrying about my future. I want him to notice me. I want some fudge. I want to take a bubble bath. I want to go shopping, but I don't want to spend money. I want to go home and work. I want to be as happy as I was Friday all of the time. I want to paint. I want it all. I want to watch a Yankees' game live. I want to be reincarnated as a flower or a bird. I want longer hair. I want to adopt children and give them a chance. I want to never settle down. I want to shock people. I want to be missed. I want my back to stop hurting. I want to be desirable. I want him to prove to me that he loved me. I want him to love me still. I want to be able to write my name backwards. I want to see my extended family. I want to talk to my dead grandmother. I want a chance to tell my grandpa that I love him. I want to yell at everyone who's ever hurt me, and then I want to forgive them. I want to dance again. I want it to be tragic. I want to believe in God and in heaven. I want to believe that I'll see you again someday. I want to learn how to play tennis. I want to make music. I want to vanish. I want to decide where I will live next year. I want a tattoo. I want to stop wanting so much. I want everyone to stop lying to themselves.