But last night I hung out with Scotty and Chuck. It was the first time the three of us have been alone together in over 8 months. And it was the best night I've had in a long time. I love them, too, and sometimes I miss our silly little saga. It was stressful and full of drama but we had so much fun. I can't believe it was a year ago that all of this began, but when we're together it feels like we haven't skipped a beat. It feels like nothing has changed, and there's something comforting in that. Even though our lives have been turned upside down since then, as Chuck's army uniform will attest to, there's something beautiful in knowing that our friendship is still the same (minus the casual sex, of course).
I'm nothing now without you,
Yeah, I'm less than nothing now.
I'm the one between the bars and lost forever now,
'Cause honey, it's over.
It's harder now that it's over.
It's harder now that it's over,
Now that the cuffs are off.
It's over now.
It's harder now that it's over,
Harder now that it's over,
Now that the cuffs are off.
And you're free, you're free,
Free with a history.
You're free, you're free, you're free
Free with a history, oh.
It's hard for me to think about Dayn when I'm with them. Especially since I haven't seen him in so long. I have to remind myself that he exists. I don't like that, and I don't want that for us.
He wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He's ready to committ to that and settle down.
But like the boys said, "Erika, what do you want?"
What do I want?